7 Pitfalls Of Male Independence


God has called men to be strong. (1 Kings 2:2)

Problems arise when a man trusts in his own strength. (Jer 17:5-8)

When a man forgets that his strength comes from God and is in God, he gets himself in trouble.  There’s a pride that creeps in that says, “I don’t need anyone”, “I can do this on my own”, “I got this”.

Macho male independence is dangerous.

An arrogant self sufficient fool thinks he can pull off his life on his own.  He believes the lie that showing weakness or any form of dependence is less manly.

He doesn’t cry.  He doesn’t ask for help or directions.  And although he may be somewhat transparent, he sure isn’t going to be vulnerable enough to let you in.

Wake up men.  Jesus wept. (John 11:35)  Paul boasted in his weakness. (2 Cor 11:30, 12:5,9)  And David wore his heart on his sleeve. (Psalms)

Beware of the pitfalls of male independence:

1) Independent Of God

Samson is the classic example of this.  He forgot that the strength he had was from God and he foolishly thought he could live independent of God’s word, will, and ways.  Consequentially, he ended up tormented, weak, blind, and bound. (Judges 16:19-20)  And that’s the same place every man ends up when he lives independent of God.

2) Independent Of Church

Some people develop a bad habit of giving up meeting together.  The writer of Hebrews warns not to do this because we need to be “spurred” on and encouraged. (Heb 10:24-25)  We need sharpening (Prov 27:17), shepherding (Heb 13:17), and the body (1 Cor 12:14-20).  And please don’t be so foolish as to believe that all God wants is you warming a chair or a pew.  Be a man and lead.

3) Independent Of Other Men

Men need other men.  This is why the bible says to “love the brotherhood” (1 Pet 2:17).  There are certain things that are best addressed and talked about with other men.  Also, a woman cannot initiate a man.  Only a man can initiate another man.  Pursue other men who possess what you lack and ask them for help.

4) Independent Of Women

In the beginning God said that it was not good for man to be alone, so he created woman to be his helper (Gen 2:18).  Men, unless your God given calling is better served by being single, you should go find a wife (Prov 18:22) to help you.  And if God has called you to be single for the kingdom, you’re still not independent of women.  Jesus wasn’t: (Luke 8:2-3).

5) Independent Of Those Who Are Older

I don’t care how clever or competent you are.  Don’t be so foolish as to dismiss those who are older than you.  Turn your hearts towards fathers (Mal 4:5, 1 Cor 4:15).

6) Independent Of Those Who Are Younger

It’s easy to dismiss young people by saying they are prideful, but pride is no respecter of age.  A person can take pride in the fact that they are old in the same way that a young man can take pride in his youth.  Resist the temptation to dismiss those who are younger than you.  Turn your heart towards sons (Mal 4:5, Luke 1:17).  “Unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt 18:3)

7) Independent Of Counsel And Correction

The bible says that “without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed” (Prov 15:22) and “whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid.” (Prov 12:1 NIV)  Don’t be stupid.

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.” (Prov 18:1)

Use good judgement.  Be a dependent man.

(Image Credit: National Library Of Scotland)

About Josh Christophersen

Josh is a software engineer, church planter, and blogger with a passion for helping people do their life well. He lives in KC with his wife and 7 kids.

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