Josh Christophersen

Reign In Life

Yes You Are A Princess

princess-mercyacademy

So there’s a new ad campaign for Mercy Academy telling girls, “You’re not a princess.” “Prepare for real life.”

I have five daughters and they’ve all, at some point, dressed up as a princess with much delight. My daughters are no rarity. Probably most girls would tell you that when they were little, they dressed up like a princess.

Why?

Because something inside of them wants to.

What is that “something”? Is it coincidence? Culture?

Girls want to be princesses because God created them to be princesses and to be treated like princesses.

I know that especially these days, “real life” seems to be presenting a different narrative, and this college is trying to prepare girls for the world we now find ourselves living in.

prince-mercyacademy

But just because women aren’t treated like princesses doesn’t mean that they aren’t, and just because all or most of the men in your life aren’t princes doesn’t mean there aren’t any out there, and just because you’ve never been rescued doesn’t mean that you’re supposed to rescue yourself.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when the “men” in your life act like adult male avatars controlled by little boys.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when so many men believe that women are inferior to men.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when you’re pressured daily to sext pictures to your boyfriend.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when most guys you know watch porn and they expect you to act out what they see.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when adult males have sexually abused 1 out of every 5 of you.

I know this isn’t easy to believe when you’re father left your mother or never told you that you were pretty.

Yes, there’s a reason that a little girl’s desire to be a princess is so universal.

It’s because it’s written into creation.

Right from the beginning in Gen 1-3 we see the first princess, Eve in a beautiful garden with her perfect prince, Adam. Eve was made for him, literally. Shortly after, we see Eve captured in a castle of lies by a cunning, evil, serpent dragon (Rev 12:9), while her prince, Adam, stands idly by.

God the king and father promises to send his son the prince (Is 9:6) to rescue his bride from the dragon (Gen 3:14-15).

Ever since then girls have longed to be rescued and guys have longed to rescue. And God made marriage to display through husband and wife the reality of his promise of a prince who would rescue his bride, the church (Eph 5:22-23).

And that’s exactly what God the father did. He sent his son, the perfect prince to rescue his bride from the dragon, that we might live and reign with him in his kingdom (Col 1:13 NIV). This prince, Jesus, became the King and adopted us into his family making us royal children (Gal 4:4-5) or as we call the sons and daughters of the king: princes and princesses.

Ladies, your princess longing to be rescued by a prince is your longing for God himself. He set up marriage for princess wives to be found (Prov 18:22) by prince husbands to display how the Prince of Peace rescues his bride.

Don’t let anyone tell you you’re not a princess and that you shouldn’t wait for a prince. He set up marriage to bring princes and princesses together to point to the Prince that we eagerly wait for (Heb 9:28).

Women In Combat And Male Cowardice

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(Image Credit: Israel Defense Forces)

Recently the U.S. Military announced it was ending its policy of excluding women from combat and that it was going to open combat jobs and direct combat units to women.  The move overturns a 1994 rule banning women from being assigned to smaller ground combat units.  Ironically in the same hour, presidential advisor Valerie Jarrett tweeted that “If there’s one thing we should all agree on, it’s protecting women from violence.”


Obviously, the administration doesn’t view military combat as violence that women need to be protected from.

Ephesians five talks about the masculine role of sacrificial love to save and protect women.  God has called men to be dragon slaying warriors who rescue women from danger, not bureaucratic cowards who send women out to fight their battles.

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(Image Credit: The White House)

And this isn’t to say that women aren’t tough or capable.  That’s not the point.  I watched my wife give birth to seven children without pain medication.  I would never argue that women aren’t tough, strong, or fighters.  I have a great deal of respect for what a woman can do.

And respect is exactly what I think a lot of this topic comes down to.  Sending women into combat is indicative of how far our respect for women has fallen.  I respect the dignity of a woman far too much to let her fight for herself.  Women should be treated like queens.  A real man would never let the Queen fight, even if she wanted to.  He would instead do everything within his power to protect her from the battle, even if it meant laying down his own life to do so.

The feminist egalitarian way of thinking requires women to be equal with men in their roles, therein requiring them to fight for themselves, just as men do.  But women were never meant to fight for themselves.  They were meant to be fought for by men.  The problem is that now days, many women don’t believe that they are worth being fought for.

It’s up to men of courage to show them they still are.

SEE ALSO: John Piper wrote an excellent post on this topic.

Married Couples With Traditional Gender Roles Have More Sex

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(Image Credit: Nationaal Archief)

A new study in the American Sociological Review by the University of Washington, says “that households in which men do more traditionally male labor and women do more traditionally female labor report higher sexual frequency.”

The study begins with a statistic stating that “from the 1960s to the beginning of the twenty-first century, men’s contribution to housework doubled, increasing from about 15 to over 30 percent of the total.”  Past studies have taken this data and deduced that sex is being used by women as an exchange for housework. But those studies neglected to take into consideration what types of housework the husbands were doing.

The new study found that couples who divvy up housework along traditional gender lines – wives “preparing meals, washing dishes, cleaning house, shopping, and washing and ironing” and husbands doing “outdoor work, paying bills, auto maintenance, and driving” have more sex.

What I found particularly interesting about the study was a reference to another study by Pepper Schwartz on how “heterosexual attraction and intimacy seem to be organized around the enactment of difference or complementarity between the sexes” and “that egalitarianism in committed heterosexual adult relationships is associated with occasional boredom and a “sibling-like” tonality to the relationship that undermines sexual desire.”  He says that “introducing more distance or difference, rather than connection and similarity, helps to resurrect passion in long-term, stable relationships.”

“Occasional boredom and a “sibling-like” tonality to the relationship that undermines sexual desire”?

Wow.  That’s a jarring observation.  But it’s true.

Heterosexual men aren’t sexually attracted to masculinity and heterosexual women aren’t sexually attracted to femininity.  The reason it creates boredom is because it removes the beauty and intrigue, that lies within the mystery of the opposite sex.

“Sibling-like” tonality is problematic because it’s unnatural for siblings to be sexually attracted to each other.  Of course sexual frequency is less when a man feels like he’s married to his sister or a woman to her brother.

This is an interesting study, but let me be clear: the bible does not specifically state who should be preparing meals, washing dishes, cleaning the house, shopping, washing and ironing, or who should be doing outdoor work, paying bills, auto maintenance, and driving.  That’s for each couple to sort out together.

But the bible does teach distinctly different complimentary gender roles.  And because those gender roles were created by God, there will always be something inherently attractive to men about true femininity and something inherently attractive to women about true masculinity, which when practiced by a couple in marriage, will inevitably lead to more sex.

Abortion And Gender Roles

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I read a piece today in the Daily Beast about the new Sundance documentary, After Tiller, named after Dr. George Tiller, the late-term abortion provider who was shot and killed in 2009.  The documentary follows the only remaining four doctors in America who still perform third-trimester, late-term abortions.

The piece starts off with a quote from Dr. LeRoy Carhart, a protégé of Dr. George Tiller:

“We’re 40 years after Roe v. Wade, and the women in America are in worse shape than they were 40 years ago. Their rights are being trampled in the street.”

Later he says:

“If all abortions become completely illegal in the United States, then women can’t compete in the marketplace so corporate America becomes all-male”

The doctor’s comments about women “competing” with men sparked a few thoughts.

If a woman believes that men and women have not only equal value, but equal roles, she will inevitably feel the need to compete.  In order to compete effectively in a majority male marketplace, she will be led to believe that she has to be more masculine.  Because in this setting, pregnancy and child rearing are seen as inconvenient obstacles on the way up the corporate ladder, therein creating a heightened demand for abortion.

On the contrary, when a woman believes that roles are complimentary rather than competing, that women have things to offer that men don’t, and that men have things to offer that women don’t, she’s then free to be fully feminine without the pressure of being masculine as well.  She celebrates the way God made a woman’s body different from a man, in order to create and nurture children, and the unique strengths those differences add to both the marketplace and the home.

Failure to embrace a woman’s uniquely distinct role in child rearing, by obvious nature of her God given, uniquely distinct, child nurturing body parts (womb, breasts, milk ducts, hormones, etc), lends itself to a world where children are less valued, and abortion is more prevalent.

14 Reasons Gender Roles Are Important

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The bible teaches that men and women have equal value but different roles. Here’s why it’s important for you to know your specific role as a man or a woman:

1) Relevance

Everyone is male or female.

2) Satan Took Over Through Role Distortion

Sin entered the world through Adam’s abdication of his role to lead and fight for his wife. (Rom 5:12)  In the leadership vacuum created by Adam, Eve, deceived by Satan (1 Tim 2:14), stepped outside of her God given role into Adam’s, leading Adam to eat the forbidden fruit. (Gen 3:6)

See Also: “What Was The First Sin? Hint: It Wasn’t Eating Fruit

3) God Creates Distinction For A Purpose

God doesn’t create things haphazardly. His creation of two distinctly different genders implies the existence of two distinctly different purposes for each gender.  Knowing correct masculine and feminine gender roles creates the possibility of fulfilling God’s specific purpose in creating the distinctive differences.

4) The Image Of God

Gen 1:27 speaks specifically of our gender imaging God: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Masculinity and femininity distinctly image God in different ways.  It is therefore essential that we correctly walk out our specific gender roles, in order to present an accurate image of God.

5) God’s Will And Ways

The bible tells of God having a will (what he wants), and ways (the way he wants his will done). He was angry with the Israelites for not knowing his ways (Heb 3:10). It’s important not only to do what God wants, but to do what he wants, in the way he wants it.

6) Christ And The Church

Marriage is supposed to show everyone how Christ loves his church. (Eph 5:22-33)  An accurate display of this beautiful picture is dependent on husbands and wives fulfilling their distinct roles in the relationship.  The message of Christ’s love for his church is lost when husbands and wives abdicate or distort their distinctive roles in marriage.

7) Family And Children

Fathers and mothers have different roles in marriage and in raising their kids.  How they walk out their roles has significant impact on their children and how they turn out.

8) Authority And Responsibility

Authority comes from taking responsibility. If you don’t know your responsibility as a man or a woman, then you can’t walk in your God given authority.

9) Confusion And Confidence

Confusion over gender roles causes a lack of confidence in our manhood or womanhood.  Not knowing what I’m supposed to do as a man or woman, prevents me from knowing whether or not I’m actually doing what I’m supposed to do.  And if I don’t know whether I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, I can’t walk in confidence.

10) Erosion Of Scripture’s Authority

The means of scripture interpretation used to arrive at the conclusion that there are no unique leadership roles for men in marriage and the church, is a dangerous path towards theological liberalism and the erosion of the authority of scripture.

11) To Prevent The Word Of God From Being Reviled

Titus 2:5 lists specific roles for a woman so “that the word of God may not be reviled”.

12) For The Angels

The bible says that one of the reasons for the outward distinction between men and women is for the angels (1 Cor 11:10).  There’s a cosmic purpose in gender distinction.

13) Abuse And Overreaction

One of the reasons the topic of gender roles can be so sensitive to some is because of all the abuse and overreaction that’s taken place. Cowardly, chauvinistic men have been abusing women for centuries, causing the inevitable overreaction to feminism. Knowing correct masculine and feminine gender roles keeps people from accepting abuse and overreaction.

14) The Created Order

The majority of scriptures that inform the roles of men and women are either found in Genesis chapters 1-3 or point back to those chapters.  This is important, because having these roles rooted in the created order means that biblical gender roles are not cultural, but rather part of God’s original intent for creation as revealed from the very beginning, in a setting untarnished by sin.