Josh Christophersen

Reign In Life

What The Bible Has To Say About Being A Man

manreadingbible

These are gender confused times.

Ask multiple people what it means to be a man and you will most likely get a myriad of answers.

It really doesn’t matter what most people think though. What does God have to say about being a man?

Here’s what he says in his word:

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Is There Such A Thing As A Worthless Man?

worthlessman

Reading through the life of David, I came across an interesting verse:

“Now the sons of Eli were worthless men.” 1 Samuel 2:12

Worthless men? Sounds pretty harsh, doesn’t it? And yet this is what the bible called them.

Is there really such a thing as a worthless man?

According to the bible, yes.

The dictionary defines worthless as “without worth; of no use, importance, or value; good-for-nothing”.

If the bible describes some men as worthless, I want to find out what makes a man worthless and make sure that man is not me.

So what does the bible say made these men worthless?

“Now the sons of Eli were worthless men. They did not know the Lord.” 1 Samuel 2:12

Men use all kinds of standards to determine their worth, but the word of God determines a man’s worth by whether or not he “knows the Lord”. It doesn’t matter how smart or educated you are, how strong or athletic you are, how wealthy or business savvy you are.

Do you understand and know the Lord?

“Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.”” Jeremiah 9:23-24

Knowing Jesus has a worth that surpasses every other counterfeit offer:

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.” Phil 3:8-11

Be a man. Be a man with worth; of use, importance, and value; good-for-something.

Be a man that knows and understands God.

(Image adapted from: El Alvicc)

Men And The Economics Of Sex [VIDEO]

economicsofsex

The following video is entitled “The Economics of Sex” and is about a study done by The Austin Institute.

The video talks about what’s driving the demand for sex and what power men and women have at their disposal to get what they want.

The study deduces that since the “cost” of sex (what men want) has plummeted due to the pill’s consequent separation of sex from marriage and children, that now the “cost” of marriage (what women want) has gone up.

The video concludes that “men are in the driver’s seat in the marriage market”, calling it a “profound irony” because “by nearly every measure, young men are failing to adapt to contemporary life. When attractive women will still go to bed with you, life for young men—even those who are floundering—just ain’t so bad.”

The video mistakenly puts the solution to this conundrum on the women:

“In reality, men tend to behave as well or as poorly as the women in their lives permit.”

Although this may be reality; it certainly doesn’t have to be. What they are saying in essence, is that in reality men follow a woman’s lead.

And many men do.

But it’s not a woman’s job to lead a man.

That’s a man’s job.

The video continues, saying that “if women were squarely in charge of how their relationships transpired and demanded a ‘higher market price’ for the exchange of sex, so to speak, we’d be seeing, on average, more impressive wooing efforts, greater male investment, longer relationships, fewer premarital partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on.

But what about the men?

What if they started acting like men?

What if men stopped settling for less than the best sex, stopped treating women like mere sexual objects, and instead started treating them like queens?

What if men were more concerned with God’s desires than their own sinful desires?

The best way to see more impressive wooing efforts, greater male investment, longer relationships, fewer premarital partners, shorter cohabitations, and more marrying going on is for men to start lifting the heavy burden of leadership off of women and start putting it where it belongs: on themselves.

Acting Like A Man

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This is Part Four of a four part series called “When I Became A Man“.

There’s a way that a child acts.  There’s a way that a man acts.

When I became a man…

I gave up avoiding responsibility and started taking responsibility.

I gave up procrastination and started acting quickly.

I gave up passivity and acted aggressively.

I gave up just accepting responsibility and started taking responsibility.

I gave up cowardice and started acting courageously.

I gave up laziness, got a job, and starting working hard.

I gave up living with Mom & Dad, left, and got my own place.

I gave up giving up and started persevering to the end.

I gave up just criticizing problems and started contributing to solutions.

I gave up being a consumer and started becoming a producer.

I gave up making things worse and started making things better.

I gave up aimlessness and started going after a vision.

I gave up finding adventure in sports, entertainment, & video games and started living my life as an adventure.

I gave up watching and started participating.

I gave up living with Mom & Dad and left and pursued a wife.

I gave up waiting for a woman to pursue me and started pursuing a woman to be my wife.

I gave up dating and started looking for a wife.

I gave up taking from women and started giving to women.

I gave up having sex with women who weren’t my wife and got married.

I gave up disrespecting women and started opening doors for them.

I gave up using my strength to hurt women and started using my strength to help and protect.

I gave up porn and pursued a real relationship with a real woman.

I gave up treating women like sex objects and started treating them like sisters.

I gave up going to a woman to get strength and started going to a woman to give my strength.

I gave up worshipping women and started worshipping God.

I gave up selfish flirting and started selfless giving.

I gave up doing nothing about male violence towards women and started confronting other men and protecting women.

I gave up idleness and started fighting for causes bigger than myself.

I gave up selfishness and started saving my wife’s day.

I gave up playing house and made a home.

I gave up following my wife and started leading my wife.

I gave up watching other men pastor my wife and kids and I started pastoring my wife and kids.

I gave up hating my children and started disciplining them.

I gave up acting like a child and started acting like a man.

“Act like men.” 1 Cor 16:13

(Image Credit: The Field Museum Library)

Reasoning Like A Man

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This is Part Three of a four part series called “When I Became A Man“.

“When I was a child… I reasoned like a child… When I became a man…”

I gave up having to be told what to do and started deciding what to do.

I gave up waiting for other people to make decisions for me and started making my own decisions.

I gave up putting off important decisions and started tackling them head on.

I gave up selfish reasoning and started to make decisions based on others first.

I gave up reasoning that avoided work and decided to work hard.

I gave up reasoning that looked to do the minimum and started deciding to do the maximum.

I gave up deciding to quit and started deciding to persevere.

I gave up reasoning to please others and started reasoning to please God.

I gave up reasoning that put comfort first and started deciding to put others first.

I gave up going to college just to go and decided on what I was going for.

I gave up letting others plan my time and started deciding what to do with my time.

I gave up living without conviction and started deciding what I believe.

I gave up reasoning with my genitalia and started reasoning with my head and heart.

I gave up reasoning how to fight for myself and started deciding to fight for women.

I gave up deciding to avoid conflict and started deciding to engage.

I gave up passive reasoning and started deciding to lead.

I gave up deciding because “the boss” said and started deciding like a leader.

I gave up “for no reason” and started reasoning.

“When I was a child… I reasoned like a child… When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Cor 13:11

(Image Credit: The Library of Congress)

Thinking Like A Man

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This is Part Two of a four part series called “When I Became A Man“.

“When I was a child… I thought like a child… When I became a man…”

I gave up thinking of ways to get out of responsibility or of ways to avoid responsibility, and started to take and increase responsibility.

I gave up thinking that everything was someone else’s fault and started accepting responsibility for my faults and the faults of others.

I gave up thinking I didn’t have what it takes and started thinking confidently as a son of the King.

I gave up wondering if I was a man and started believing that I was.

I gave up thinking that the world is a playground and started thinking that the world is a battleground.

I gave up thinking of ways to carry as light a load as possible and started thinking about how I could carry a heavier load.

I gave up thinking of ways to get out of work and started thinking about how to work harder.

I gave up thinking about a job and started thinking about a career.

I gave up thinking only of now and started thinking of the future.

I gave up thinking short term and started thinking long term.

I gave up thinking only of the small and started thinking big picture.

I gave up thinking passively and started thinking aggressively.

I gave up thinking about temporary rewards and started thinking about eternal rewards.

I gave up thinking only about myself and started thinking about others.

I gave up thinking of myself as a horny pervert and started thinking of myself as the glory of God.

I gave up thinking of women as body parts and started thinking of them as people.

I gave up thinking of women as sex objects and started thinking of them as someone’s sister, mother, daughter, or wife.

I gave up thinking of what I could get from women and started thinking about what I could give women.

I gave up thinking thinking of women as one of the guys and started thinking of women as queens.

I gave up thinking of women as less valuable than men and started thinking of women as equally valuable.

I gave up thinking arrogantly and started thinking humbly.

I gave up thinking like a “know it all” and started thinking like a disciple.

I gave up thinking vaguely about doctrine and theology and started thinking specifically about what I believe.

“Brothers, do not be children in your thinking. Be infants in evil, but in your thinking be mature.” 1 Cor 14:20

“When I was a child… I thought like a child… When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Cor 13:11

(Image Credit: Public Record Office of Northern Ireland)

Masculine Wisdom From Gordon Dalbey [VIDEOS]

Gordon Dalbey

My wife and I recently stumbled upon an excellent article called, “Healing the Father-Wound: The Ultimate Men’s Movement“.  The article was written by Gordon Dalbey.  After reading the article I checked out his website and started watching a ten part video interview on manhood that he had done with Warwick Marsh. It is an excellent interview that is well worth your time.

Gordon has written three books on men that I can’t wait to read: “Healing the Masculine Soul: God’s Restoration of Men to Real Manhood“, “Sons of the Father: Healing the Father-Wound in Men Today“, and “Fight Like A Man: A New Manhood for a New Warfare“.

The following is the ten part series. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Part 1 – Discover The Wound

Part 2 – The Stuff of Manhood

Part 3 – Running Away

Part 4 – Masculine Soul

Part 5 – Sons of the Father

Part 6 – The Brown Ooze

Part 7 – Cutting the Cord

Part 8 – How to Love a Woman

Part 9 – Making a Living, Making a Life

Part 10 – Fight Like a Man

Speaking Like A Man

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This is Part One of a four part series called “When I Became A Man“.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child… When I became a man…”

I gave up making excuses and blame shifting and started taking responsibility.

I gave up vague apologies and got specific about what I was sorry for and what I did wrong and asked for forgiveness.

I gave up just “talking the talk” and started “walking the walk”.

I gave up just talking about work and started working quietly.

I gave up aimless, foolish talk and started talking about Christ and the Kingdom.

I gave up only talking about myself and started asking questions and listening to others.

I gave up tearing down people with words and started using words to build people up.

I gave up speaking at any time and started knowing when to speak.

I gave up talking to women like I talk to one of the guys and started talking to them as women.

I gave up selfish, flirtatious talk and started talking to women with dignity and respect.

I gave up talking to women as sex objects and started talking to women as queens.

I gave up using words to perpetuate the lies that women believe and started using my words to fight for them to be free.

I gave up being silent around men who treat women poorly and started speaking up to confront them.

I gave up letting someone else be my wife’s main pastor and started pastoring my wife.

I gave up talking harsh to my wife and started talking gently in an understanding way.

I gave up being silent about how I feel about my kids and started affirming them.

I gave up letting someone else be my kid’s pastor and started pastoring my children.

I gave up weak speech and started speaking strongly.

I gave up being silent and started speaking the truth in love.

I gave up fearful, compromising speech and started speaking courageously.

I gave up insecure speech and started speaking with confidence and conviction.

I gave up breaking my word and started keeping my word, even when it hurts.

“When I was a child, I spoke like a child… When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” 1 Cor 13:11

(Image Credit: National Library of Australia)

When I Became A Man

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“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” “Act like men.”
1 Cor 13:11, 16:13

The bible goes from child to man.

It’s a two step process.

There’s no inbetween step. No adolescence. No “adultolescence”.

You’re a child and then when you become a man you give up childish ways.

There’s a way that a child speaks, thinks, reasons, and acts, that needs to be given up when he becomes a man. A man speaks, thinks, reasons, and acts differently.

We’re currently suffering from a crisis of childhood prolongment and manhood avoidance.  Boys are living in men’s bodies: physically matured to adulthood, yet behaving like children.

A boy becomes a man by age.  He speaks, thinks, reasons, and acts like a man by choice.

There’s a point in every man’s life when he’s faced with the choice of whether or not to give up childish ways.

The following are four posts on what it looks like to give up childish ways to speak, think, reason, and act like a man:

  1. Speaking Like A Man
  2. Thinking Like A Man
  3. Reasoning Like A Man
  4. Acting Like A Man

(Image Credit: The U.S. National Archives)

Procrastination Is Manhood Avoidance

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The World English Dictionary defines the word “procrastinate” in the following way:

pro·cras·ti·nate [proh-kras-tuh-neyt, pruh-] verb

to put off or defer (an action) until a later time; delay

In Job 38:3, God tells Job to “dress for action like a man”, in 1 Cor 16:13 Paul says to “act like men”, and in Rom 5:12, God holds man responsible.

Biblical masculinity takes action and responsibility.

Putting off or deferring action in the areas you are responsible for is the putting off of manhood itself.

Procrastination is manhood avoidance. It cultivates passivity. It actually trains you to be passive.

The following are ways to tackle procrastination, inspired from Randy Stinson and Dan Dumas.  The quotes are taken from their book, “A Guide To Biblical Manhood“.

Do The Hardest Task First

“Attacking your hardest task of the day without delay will build your resistance to passivity. Waiting until the end of the day only reinforces your sinful tendencies toward passivity.”

What are you doing to “build your resistance to passivity“?

Don’t just take responsibility.  Build your resistance to passivity.  Do it by tackling the hardest things on your to do list, first.  Eat the food on your plate that you don’t like, first.  Do the project at work that you hate doing, first.  Start the project on your house that you have to do, but don’t want to do, first.

Tackle it head on.  Get after it.  Be intentional to train yourself and your sons to be resistant to passivity.

Rule Your Tasks – Don’t Let Them Rule You

“The man who is cultivating biblical masculinity will not allow things like term papers, taxes, or project deadlines to rule him.  He will exercise dominion over them by doing them in a timely manner.  So do your work now rather than later.”

Are you ruling your tasks, or are your tasks ruling you?

Procrastination is often caused by the fear of failure or the expectation of difficulty and/or pain.  It’s OK not to like fear, difficulty, and pain, but it’s not OK to let them dictate how you live your life.

Don’t let fear, pain, and difficulty push you around and dictate what you do and when you do it.  “Be strong, and show yourself a man.” (1 Kings 2:2)

Make The Hard Relational Move First

“Don’t just be bold with tasks, be bold with people.  Make the hard relational move first, too.  Don’t be passive within interpersonal relationships.  Some men are willing to do the hard task first, but avoid difficult situations that involve other people.  Whether it means having a tough conversation, apologizing, or even exercising Matt 18:15-17 style confrontation, you should do your pain first.”

What conversation, confrontation, or apology are you putting off?  Stop procrastinating.

Talk to her.  Be the bigger man and apologize.  Love the other person enough to tell them the truth.

Run To The Battle

There’s an amazing contrast in the bible story of David and Goliath.  In 1 Sam 17:24, it says that when the “men of Israel” saw Goliath that they fled from him.  In 1 Sam 17:48, it says that “David ran quickly toward the battle”.

David ran TO the battle.  The “men of Israel” ran FROM the battle.

David slayed the giant.

Be the guy that runs to the battle.

(Image Credit: The Library of Congress)