Josh Christophersen

Reign In Life

Fighting For A Woman’s Beauty

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A woman is most beautiful when she is unafraid.

A woman makes herself beautiful by not fearing anything that is frightening (1 Pet 3:5-6).

Men are one of the primary causes of fear in women, whether by what they do or don’t do.  It’s incumbent on men to reverse this trend and to fight for women to be unafraid, or to put it another way, to fight for women to be beautiful

When a woman feels the safety of being fought for, the confidence of knowing she has a voice and it’s being heard, and the comfort that a man cares more about her than himself, she’s unafraid and her beauty shines.  This is why the bible says that when a husband loves his wife, he loves himself (Eph 5:28).  Because the more you love her this way, the less she fears.  The less she fears, the more beautiful she becomes, and the more you enjoy her.

In order for a man to fight for a woman to be unafraid, he must identify what a woman fears.  When that is identified, a man can proactively fight against those fears.

Here’s a short list of common fears that women have and how men can fight them.

Not Pretty

The majority of women don’t think they are pretty. In fact Dove says that “only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful”. Little girls grow up asking whether they are pretty or not.

Husbands and Fathers need to tell their wives and daughters often how pretty they are, and they need to define true beauty to them as well so that they don’t buy into the lies that culture is telling them.

Not Pretty Enough

Some women may believe that they are pretty but they are constantly struggling with the fear of not being pretty enough. The fake, photoshopped images of women in advertising and on the covers of magazines are not helping.

A man can fight for a woman to feel pretty enough by not looking at porn.  A common conclusion drawn among wives of men who look at porn is that they are not pretty enough, so their husbands look else where.  Husbands, fight for your wives by abstaining from pornography, both hard porn and soft porn.

Abandonment

Because of the breakdown of the family, many women are afraid of abandonment.  A man needs to give a woman the safety and comfort of covenant (marriage), while building trust for the covenant, before the covenant takes place.  What I mean is that a man should not be engaged sexually with a woman who is not his wife.  Why should a woman trust a man to honor covenant in marriage if he won’t honor it before marriage?

Physical Harm

A man should never use his strength to harm a woman physically.  A man should be tough to protect a woman, but tender towards her.  Tenderness creates an atmosphere of safety, not fear.

Bad Leadership

One of the specific ways that a woman’s beauty shines through a lack of fear is in submitting to her husband (1 Pet 3:5-6).  It’s not easy to submit to another’s authority, no matter what sex you are. Husbands need to live with their wives in an understanding way so that they are not fearful. (1 Pet 3:7)

No Voice

If a woman feels like she doesn’t have a voice or that her voice is not being heard, she feels trapped and afraid.  Men need to be great listeners.

Being Hurt

No one likes to be hurt.  Transparency and vulnerability can go a long way in alleviating the fear of being hurt.  Husbands, don’t hold secrets from your wives.  Walk in the light.

You Only Want Her Body

A woman is more than just body parts.  She’s a person and she wants to be loved as such. Men, fight for a woman’s beauty by being concerned with much more than just sex.  Show her the respect a woman deserves.

Woman Worship

It’s very scary for a woman to find out that a man loves her more than God.  No woman is God and therefore no woman can give what only God can.  A man who loves a woman more than God can’t be trusted.  It is very comforting and safe for a woman to know that her man loves God more than her.

Men, are you fighting to create an atmosphere most conducive to a woman’s true beauty?  

Are you fighting for women to be unafraid?

(Image Credit: SMU Central University)

About Josh Christophersen

Josh is a software engineer, church planter, and blogger with a passion for helping people do their life well. He lives in KC with his wife and 7 kids.

4 Replies

  1. Joyce

    Wow, that is so good and true!! I will share this!!

  2. Josh, well written. I see the realities of this (both the positive side and the negative) of so many couples in our church. Unfortunately so much of it goes back to how this played out with the woman’s relationship with their faither or how they saw their father treat their mother. This stuff can’t be overturned in a day, but it sure can start TODAY.

  3. Thanks Danny. Good to hear from you. I agree that so much goes back to a woman’s father, for sure.

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