Lessening The Likelihood Of Lust Thru Honor And Respect


“Lusts when unmortified always degrade women.”  – Doug Wilson

The more degrading your view of women, the more likely you are to lust after them.  This is the nature of lust.  On the contrary, the more honor, respect, and dignity you place on women, the less likely you are to lust after them.

As we observe the rampant increase of lust, pornography, sexting, rape, and the many ways men invent to sin sexually, we’ve got to address the root: the degrading of women.

You’re less likely to lust after a woman you honor and respect.

The following are six ways to honor and respect women.  These are powerful weapons against the temptations of lust.

Resist Reducing A Women To Body Parts

When women are reduced from people to pixels, from queens to crotches, from brides to breasts, from ladies to legs, and from sisters to sex objects, you’re much more likely to lust after them.  Make sure you view women for who they are: people.  That woman you’re looking at is a person.  She’s someone’s wife, mom, or daughter.

Practice Manners

Opening doors, standing when a woman enters the room, carrying things, not farting or talking crude among women, and non sexual affirmation are just a few ways of holding women in high esteem.  “Manners are therefore a form of sexual discipleship; they are sexual discipline.  A boy who has learned to honor women everywhere will have difficulty in despising one in the back seat of a car.” (Doug Wilson)

Reject Feminism

Don’t let feminism lower women down to a man’s level.  A woman is not a man and should never be treated like one.  “It is no accident that feminists have succeeded in getting women treated “equally” with men, and now that women are no longer singled out for honor, that the men around them just go with their lusts.” (Doug Wilson)

Reject Machoism

Don’t be duped into some phony macho version of manhood that is condescending to women.  There is no place for arrogant entitlement in any serious display of manhood.  God made men strong to protect women, not to manipulate and coerce.  A real man does the hard work of gently and patiently fighting for a woman to believe she’s worth being fought for.

Don’t Live With Girls

A guy who lives with a girl isn’t a man; he’s a boy.  Men treat women with respect as queens and princesses.  They would never even think of living with a female friend, because a man doesn’t treat his female friends as one of the guys.  That’s what boys do.  If this is you, grow up, move out, and give the girl the dignity of knowing she’s worth being fought for by not reinforcing the lie that she’s just another friend like any other guy friend you have.  She’s a woman.  You’re supposed to be a man.  The only men and women who live together are called husband and wife.  And a man should definitely not live with his girlfriend or fiance, selfishly taking from her outside of the safety and security of covenant.  If he does, it’s because he lacks proper respect and honor for her as a woman.

Reject The Media Narrative

There is so much music, magazines, movies, TV, websites, and video games depicting women merely as sexual objects.  Be careful not to give into these subtle influences.  This requires focused, intentional, vigilance.


Go out of your way to treat women with respect, honor, and dignity and watch as the tentacles of lust begin to lose their grip on you.

(All Doug Wilson quotes were taken from his book “Future Men“.  If you don’t have it, get it.  You won’t be disappointed.)

(Image Credit: New York Public Library)

About Josh Christophersen

Josh is a software engineer, church planter, and blogger with a passion for helping people do their life well. He lives in KC with his wife and 7 kids.

2 Replies

  1. Tony

    I really appreciate these points. It moved me to pray both in repentance for my own lust and also for my five boys, that they would honor women in the highest regard as God intended. Reading this was both convicting and inspiring at the same time. Thanks josh-

  2. You’re welcome, Tony. I hear you. This has really been on my radar to teach my sons lately.

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