Three Types Of Guys


The role of a man is to take responsibility.  In this post I want to take a look at three different types of guys and how they handle responsibility.

1) The Guy Who Abdicates/Avoids Responsibility

This is the old Adam.  This is the coward, the procrastinator, the lazy man.  It’s not really fair to call this guy a man, because if he’s not taking responsibility, then he’s not really a man.

This is the blame shifter, blaming the woman, blaming God, blaming the devil.  It’s the government’s fault, the boss’s fault, the church’s fault, the parent’s fault, but never his fault.

This is the guy who doesn’t provide for his family, the guy who avoids work.  This is the guy who uses “going after his dreams” as an excuse for not taking work that would pay the bills, so his wife wouldn’t have to be the primary provider.

This is the boy in a man’s body, who knows more sports stats or movie lines, than bible verses, who knows how to win video games, but not a woman’s heart.

This is the selfish coward who enjoys visual stimulation (porn), selfish flirting, or sexual contact, without the demands of commitment (marriage).

This is the guy who doesn’t lead, whose wife is “the boss”, the passive man, expecting the woman to do her role and the man’s.

This is the chauvinistic, macho man, too lazy to do the hard work of laying down his life for a woman.  Instead he uses his strength to harm, to scare, to force and manipulate women.

2) The Guy Who Manages His Responsibility

This guy takes responsibility.  He’s not a blame shifter.  He works hard.  He provides for his family.  He’s not lazy.  He takes care of his family, participates in his church, pays the bills, keeps his eyes pure, respects women, and manages what’s on his plate.

He’s a nice guy.

But he’s passive in a different way.  He’s complacent.  He’s perishing for lack of vision.

He manages what’s in front of him, with no plans of taking on more.  As long as he’s as good or better than the next guy, then he’s fine.

He does the minimum required to stay on good terms with his boss at work.

He relies on yesterday’s manna.  His spiritual security is in past experiences with God.  He’s faithful, but not hungry.  His gifts, talents, and treasure are given, but never at great cost.  His life is spent doing what seems possible.

He aims at nothing and he hits it.

He lives without risk, and so he risks not living.

3) The Guy Who Looks To Increase His Responsibility

Mark Driscoll says that “men are like trucks – they drive smoother and straighter with a load.”  This third guy is the guy who not only “drives with a load”, but he’s planning on how he can carry more.  He believes that true manhood takes responsibility, so he’s looking for ways to take on more responsibility, to grow in his manhood.  He doesn’t run from responsibility – he runs to it.

This is the guy who’s diligent to be faithful with little so he can be entrusted with much.  This is the guy who does what’s asked of him and more.  A paycheck and weekend are not enough to motivate him.  He’s not just making a living, he’s making a life.

He has dreams and a plan.  He’s disciplined and hard working with vision for his family’s provision.

He not only takes responsibility for his own growth, but for the growth of others.

He stays pure because he believes his character is his influence, and he’s not too proud to admit when he’s wrong.

He runs towards the battle, slays the dragon, and rescues the girl.

He leads well and seeks to increase his influence for God’s glory and people’s good.

He believes it a noble task to aspire to be an elder and works towards becoming one. (1 Tim 3:1)

The status quo is not an option.  It’s forward motion or backwards digression.  There is no middle ground.

He’s like Jesus, the new Adam.  He “increases in wisdom and in stature and in favor with God and man.” (Luke 2:52)

Which guy are you?

Image courtesy of “National Library of Scotland” |

About Josh Christophersen

Josh is a software engineer, church planter, and blogger with a passion for helping people do their life well. He lives in KC with his wife and 7 kids.

4 Replies

  1. Thanks Josh. I appreciate the breakdown of manliness. One thing though: does a mustache or help or not help?

  2. Very convicting post for me – thanks for writing, man! Can definitely find examples of Man 1 and 2 in my life, but not-so-much the third (Christ-like) man, so that’s something I’ll want to work on this new year.

  3. Glad you liked it Justin. Thanks for the encouragement.

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